If-Then Plans at Work, School and in Relationships: Examples

Reading what a method is and seeing where it will fit in your own life are different things. When I first learned about if-then plans, I understood the theory right away. Building the first sentence in my own day took much longer.

That is why this article is a repository of examples. I described what the method is in if-then plans and how to build one in how to build an if-then plan. Here there are only sentences.

I have one request: pick one from the list below. Building all of them at once, as I explained in the previous article, can make the plans get mixed up with one another. Skip the ones that do not fit your life, and rewrite the one that does in your own words.

First: the kinds of plans

If-then plans do not serve just one job. The large meta-analysis shows that they work on four separate problems: getting started, protecting a job in progress from distractions, getting off a way that does not work, and saving strength for later (Gollwitzer and Sheeran, 2006). To these I add two more kinds in daily life:

• Remembering plans. Remembering to do something in the future, that is, prospective memory. A skill that often drops in ADHD.
• Emotion plans. Deciding in advance what to do when an emotion rises.

Thinking about which kind each example below falls into helps when you build your own plan.

At work

I run digital strategy in my own company, and my working day is largely divided among e-mail, meetings and jobs that need long thinking. These are the moments in those areas that I found worth trying and that I often see in other people too:

• Starting: “If I open the computer, then before e-mail I open the file of the one important job of the day.”
• E-mail: “If I have read an e-mail, I know the answer and I am about to close it, then I write the two-sentence reply right away.”
• Notification: “If the phone vibrates, then I first finish the sentence in my hands.”
• End of a meeting: “If the meeting ends, then before I stand up I write a three-item note: what was decided, what is on me, by when.” I covered the other difficulties of meetings in ADHD in the article on meetings.
• Making promises: “If someone asks me for a new job, then I say 'let me look and get back to you.'” This is a brake placed in front of instant “sure, okay”s.
• Getting stuck: “If I have been fixing the same section for half an hour, then I put a marker and move on to the next.”
• End of day: “If the clock shows six, then I put the file I will open first tomorrow on the desktop.”

What the plans in working life have in common is this: most are written not for the work itself but for the transitions in the work. The moment I move from one job to another is the moment I lose the most time.

At school and in academia

Because I carry out academic work, this area is close to me. I also remember leaving assignments to the last night during my school years; if I had known in those years that sentences like these existed, I would at least have tried.

• Entering class: “If I walk into the classroom or the online class, then I put my phone in my bag.”
• Reading: “If I reach the end of a page and do not remember what I read, then I write a one-sentence summary of that page on the side.”
• Assignments: “If an assignment is given, then on the same day I write only its title and its first sentence.”
• Studying: “If I sit down at my desk, then in the first twenty minutes I open only one topic.”
• Thesis and long writing: “If the urge to look at a new source comes, then I write its name on a list and go back to the text.”
• Exams: “If I get stuck on a question, then I put a mark next to it and move on to the next.”
• Asking for help: “If I have read a topic twice and not understood it, then I write a single question to the teacher or a friend.”

In this area there is real-world data about ADHD, limited as it is. When sixth and seventh graders were taught a method combining the if-then plan with thinking about obstacles, self-regulation improved in parent ratings after two weeks; the benefit was more marked in students at risk for ADHD (Gawrilow et al., 2013). In another study carried out at a school for children with ADHD, the self-regulation skills rated by teachers improved after the first if-then session. However, a lasting effect was seen only under some conditions (Guderjahn et al., 2013). So at school there is a promising but inconsistent picture. I could not find a similar study for university students and adults with ADHD.

At home

At home I am the one who cooks. Housework, like work, falls apart most at the moments of transition.

• Keys: “If I come into the house, then I drop the keys in the bowl next to the door.” Whenever I think of my father, who looked for his keys every day, I notice how old a problem this sentence answers.
• Kitchen: “If I turn on the stove, then I set the phone's timer.”
• Dishes: “If I get up from the meal, then I put my own plate in the machine right away.”
• Bills: “If a bill notification comes, then I make the payment that day after lunch.”
• Sleep: “If the clock turns eleven, then I plug the phone in to charge outside the bedroom.”
• Appointments: “If I make an appointment, then I set a reminder on my phone that includes both the day and the time.”

The last example looks small but it is important. In a field experiment on flu shots, the vaccination rate of employees who wrote down both the date and the time for the shot rose by 4.2 points compared with the control group; among those who wrote only the date, the increase was not significant (Milkman et al., 2011). This study was done with the general population, but it shows the power of detail well.

Taking care of the body

One of the easiest things to forget in ADHD is the body: drinking water, eating, getting up and moving. When I sink into work I do not notice how the hours pass, and I feel hunger only when my head aches. Plans that can be built for this area:

• Water: “If I sit down at the computer, then first I fill a glass of water and put it on the desk.”
• Meals: “If the clock says one and I still have not eaten, then I save what I am doing and go to the kitchen.”
• Movement: “If an online meeting ends, then I stand up and walk to the window.”
• Screen: “If I get into bed and have my phone in my hand, then I put it at the far end of the room instead of on the nightstand.”

In these plans the trigger is often the clock, because the body's signals arrive late. Backing the clock with an alarm is the easiest way not to leave the plan to remembering.

In a relationship

This is the part I am most cautious about while writing. Because I could not find a study that directly tested if-then plans in relationships, let alone in adults with ADHD. What follows are examples I derived from the general logic of the research.

• Interrupting: “If something comes to my mind while the other person is speaking, then I count it on my finger and wait for their sentence to end.” This is a sentence that supports from the outside the skill of response inhibition in the glossary. I opened up the subject in the article on interrupting during arguments.
• Raised voice: “If I notice my voice rising, then I take a breath and slow my next sentence.”
• Break: “If I am saying the same sentence for the third time in an argument, then I ask for a twenty-minute break and say when we will return to it.”
• Message: “If I read a message and leave the reply for later, then I leave a short note like 'saw it, I'll write this evening.'”
• Listening: “If I notice my attention drifting while the other person is telling me something, then I repeat the last sentence I heard in my own words.”
• Special days: “If I add a birthday to the calendar, then I set a second reminder for a week before.”

Plans for emotions

Behind the plans built for emotions there are a few laboratory and field studies.

In a series of experiments, participants were shown images that evoked disgust and fear. Those who formed only the goal “I will not be disgusted” or “I will not be afraid” could not reduce their emotions; those who added an if-then plan to the goal markedly reduced their reactions (Schweiger Gallo et al., 2009). In another study, athletes who built plans for distracting thoughts, feelings and bodily states during competition reached their goals more often (Achtziger et al., 2008).

These studies were done with the general population and were not about emotions in relationships. We do not know whether anger or emotional flooding in ADHD responds in the same way. I dealt with the anger side separately in the article on anger outbursts.

How to build an emotion plan. Do not make the emotion the trigger; make the first sign of the emotion in the body the trigger: the voice rising, the face warming, the jaw tightening. Keep the action bodily and small too: a breath, a sip of water, standing up. When the emotion comes, thinking is hard; moving is easier.

A plan for bad days

Every plan is written for a good day. I suggest you build a separate plan for bad days too:

“If, when I wake up in the morning, I feel I cannot start anything, then I do only the first step of a single job and leave the rest of the day to myself.”

I think of this sentence as a safety net. It does not save the day, but it does not lose it completely either.

When the plan is not enough

The if-then plan is a tool for small, repeating moments. In some situations it is not enough on its own:

• If arguments often get out of control, if there are hurtful words or physical threat, this stops being a matter of plans. You need support from a couples therapist or a specialist. If you do not feel safe, you can call 112, and ALO 183 for social support.
• If your days have been heavy for a long time, and sleep and appetite have been disrupted, the matter may go beyond planning. Talking to a psychiatrist is a good start.
• You should make decisions about medication or treatment with your doctor. If-then plans do not take the place of these decisions; they can stand beside them.

The examples in this article are not a prescription. They are all starting sentences. Your life is made of other moments, and the best trigger is a moment you really live through every day.